Sometimes I Hate Not Being Perfect

I know I am not perfect, but sometimes I wish I was a better painter than anyone else.  Sometimes I feel embarrassed to show my work, because I wonder if people are looking at it and thinking “that is the work of an amateur.”  Well, I am an amateur, but I find myself trying to hide that fact (as much as it can be hidden).

I think it’s time to admit to myself that although I have a fine arts degree, I’m only twenty-four.  I have a loooong way to go before I can consider myself a master at my craft.   I pray that one day I can look back on these paintings as the beginning of a very fruitful journey to mastery.  I will consider the journey successful if I can say that I cared more about painting than I did about making money.  And if I can say that I never stopped learning new things.

Now, what spurred that musing?  The “progress” I’ve made on my painting.  I started trying to perfect the skin tone.  Some of the shadows are off.  And the really discouraging part is that when this painting is placed next to its companion (Eric holding the fawn), it stands out a lot more.  I am discouraged because I don’t want either painting to dominate the other, but to work together.  I don’t know what I’m going to do but keep working and see if it gets better.


About Melody

My name is Melody Martin. Check out my art blog, and learn all about the steps and techniques that go into oil paintings.
This entry was posted in Musings, Painting Update and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Sometimes I Hate Not Being Perfect

  1. Holly Niphakis says:

    You are a long way into your mastery, Mel. What is no doubt frustrating is that there are so many choices…and you put heart into your paintings instead of mass productions for the financial gain I’;m sure you need.

  2. I’ve always struggled with these doubts, and comparing myself to other artists and it can be very discouraging to see someone else’s work and think that they are better at the craft than you might be…. but in the world of art, there really isn’t any one thing that is considered perfect. i think the imperfections are what makes things art! Keep your head up! 🙂

  3. Cheryl M says:

    As I was painting a wall this morning- one color, no artistry, I was thinking about being perfect as an edge veered off a bit. Then, I remembered about quilting & knitting and the “signatures” that often find themselves in my work. And, so I relax and enjoy the process! BTW, I love the tendrils of background that envelope you 🙂
    Keep loving what you’re doing, girl!
    Blessings on you,

  4. Rob says:

    The shadows are off? hmm, guess i’m the amateur. Great job Mel!

  5. arrynvogan says:

    Melody, you are not an amateur! You are much beter than that so don’t discredit yourself. Sometimes a good boost in confidence is to look back on a painting you did when you first began that you were really proud of at the time and compare it to the work you are doing now.

  6. Melody says:

    haha…good thought! That would make me feel like a little better!

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